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Twenty Minutes Made My Day

November 4, 2010

My son is a perpetual motion machine.  It is impossible to hold him for any length of time as he always has to be doing something (or I have to be doing something).  Even while he is nursing he will be playing vigorously with my necklace, or twisting and squirming– just for the heck of it.  Maybe it’s totally usual for kids his age, it probably is, but I did always have this vision in my head of just being able to hold and snuggle my children.  You know, without getting my earrings ripped out in play or without having to fight to maintain control.

Anyhow, LPK has been sick with a cold (what’s new) and he woke up at 5am this morning coughing pretty hard.  I realized that he was going to cough himself awake and, since my alarm would be going off in only half-an-hour, I just got up and fetched him.  He was eager to nurse in between fits of coughing (poor guy).

I nursed him in my glider and, by the time he was done, he was wide awake, his eyes open and roving in the dim lamplight.  I sat him up in my lap so he could cough better and he suddenly gave the biggest sigh, leaned back, and curled up against my chest.  He was not feeling well at all and I stroked his head and back while I rocked him for a good twenty minutes.

I loved each of those minutes so much.  Not because he felt icky, but because that was the first time he let me just rock and snuggle him.  In his little fleece-footie-pajamas.  A dream come true.

Sigh…I’m so sentimental.  I can’t stop thinking about it.  🙂

Speaking of nursing, I think we’re on our last gasp here.  I’m proud of myself for making it this far and I’m going to continue pumping and nursing as long as I can get anything out.  But, the sad truth, is that I’m pumping *maybe* 6 ounces during the workday.  That’s down from my max of 16 ounces a day.  I don’t know how much he gets in our evening and morning feeds, but it’s probably around three ounces.  It seems to be more comfort nursing than anything else.

I’m supplementing heavily with formula (obviously) and that might have something to do with the fact that he has been non-stop sick since early October.  But, what can I do?  He’s growing, he’s happy and I’m not going to beat myself up over the fact that my never-anything-to-brag-about supply is plummeting.

I really hope that we can make it to a year with at least some breast milk every day.  That’s my final goal.

Considering that I was ready to throw the towel in when he was five days old (well, not super-ready, but the PAIN…I cannot describe…for six weeks it was toe-curling, teeth gritting unquenchable-fire PAIN), yeah, a year would be amazing!

One Comment leave one →
  1. November 4, 2010 10:44 pm

    I love snuggling Monkey but he is always on the go too… yes it’s normal… I love those moments that I do get to snuggle him though. It’s so precious… I don’t think you’re being over sentimental one single bit! I hope your little guy gets better soon.

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